


How to catch a Harold

by Captainmintyfresh



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 03:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13918809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captainmintyfresh/pseuds/Captainmintyfresh
Summary: Based off the Tumblr prompt - You dedicated a song to me on the radio and it was really sweet but I don't know who you are.Schneider tries to do something nice. It doesn't exactly backfire but he can't say it goes to plan either.





	How to catch a Harold

It wasn't meant to be romantic, okay, maybe it was somewhat romantically intended but that was just subtext, hell it wasn't even meant to be subtext, it was meant to be the subtext hidden beneath subtext, the sub-subtext if you will. It was meant to be something easily passed over, forgettable almost, one best friend casually cheering up the other. Penelope wasn't meant to realize there could be anything remotely platonic about it. She was meant to look up, nose scrunching as she heard her name on the radio and then laugh when she heard Schneider's name followed by the first notes of the cheesy song. She was meant to get home and spot Schneider already sitting in her apartment. She was meant to roll her eyes in that unwittingly fond way she did as a smile tipped the corners of her lips and she said bobo in a tone too warm to really be insulting.   

She definitely wasn't meant to come home with an honest to god blush still staining her cheeks and a curl to her lips that had all the Alvarez's swarming to her curiously as she talked about how 'Harold' had dedicated a son to her on the radio and 'I don't even remember a freaking Harold and I know, I know it's probably some old white guy but it was so..romantic.' 

Schneider had been ready to say 'It was me.' Up until the romantic comment, at which point his tongue had lodged itself firmly in his throat and he'd ducked out of the conversation to drink from his already empty glass waiting for someone to look to him and accidentally announce the fact that he'd inadvertently hit on Penelope. Only no one did and as everyone gave out ideas of who exactly Harold could be Schneider realized that despite years of knowing the Alvarez family he'd never actually disclosed his first name.   

The whole situation probably could have been cleared up quickly and easily. A 'Hey Penelope, I'm Harold. I know the past few months have been rough for you with Lydia going to hospital and breaking up with Max so I thought maybe I could cheer you up a little bit and I know a dumb song won't cure depression but I thought maybe I could just make you smile with a silly song dedication on the radio that I definitely spent too much time planning but yeah, it's totes platonic gurl' She'd roll her eyes and it would be done. She'd have smiled, his unrequited feelings would be a bit less firmly but still safely tucked away and everything would be great. 

That was what he should have done, however, it wasn't exactly what he did do because when Penelope had finally turned to him, eyebrow creeping up and smile on her face and asked "Do you know a Harold?" Instead of straightening the whole mess out Schneider found his mouth dry at how happy she looked and his shoulders were shrugging and mouth running of their own accord before Schneider could really think about the repercussions of dolling out a very strange lie to his best friend.   

"No idea, Pen." He lied and really, he'd proud of himself for telling such a successful lie if it weren't partly true. Because really, he didn't have any idea what the hell was happening or why Penelope was looking all...smiley, because of him and not fond exasperation smiley but real genuine smiley. Sure maybe he knew technically who 'Harold' was, but philosophically he didn't have a clue. He never went by Harold, if he had to go by his first name at all he'd try to insist it was Harry and even that basically stopped when he was eight. 

Harold was a stuffy old Canadian who probably paid taxes. Schneider didn't know a Harold. The only reason he'd used Harold was that they'd asked specifically for a first name. how was he meant to know they wouldn't immediately realise they should say Schneider not Harold. 

So yeah, technically, it wasn't really a lie. He was just...Stretching the truth, maybe? 

It should have been over and done with after that. Schneider had succeeded in what he'd set out to do, make Penelope smile, sure it had been a bit more of a smitten smile than he'd been expecting and sure she had no idea that it was him who'd put it on her face but that was fine, better, in some ways because there wasn't any of the awkward 'I'm secretly in love with you and have been for god knows how long' confessions spilling out of Schneiders mouth.   

It wasn't like he could us tell her it was him, after all she'd found the sub-subtext and any admission of the truth would be a confession that Schneider would rather keep locked away so he wouldn't slowly be forced to hand over the deed to the building to Penelope and go back to Canada in a quivering ball of lonely shame when everything got awkward because he'd gone and caught feelings.  

So hiding it, pretending he'd never heard of anyone called Harold and didn't even know the song 'The way you make me feel' much less request it for her was a better plan. A plan that worked because Penelope believed him when he said he didn't know, even Lydia seemed to believe him. He was in the clear. Everything was over and done with. Disaster averted.  

Only, not quite.  

Because when Elena asked two days later if Penelope had heard any more from Harold over dinner he'd watched as her shoulders drooped minutely and he felt the nagging need to cheer her up again.  

So, he did.  

And then she'd come home with the same smile and flung herself next to Schneider on the couch, chin on his shoulder as she talked about Harold and how he wasn't a patient but he'd done another song and she'd had a literal spring in her step and Schneider couldn't just stop after that could he?  

He knew how nice it was to be wanted. To know that someone thought about you, mainly because he knew how badly it hurt to not have that. So, he couldn't just take that feeling away from Penelope, couldn't let her think that anyone, even Harold the random radio stalker, could ever forget about her.  

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing an Alvareider fic. (I swear there will be dialogue eventually.)
> 
> I've just made an Alvareider tumblr so there's nothing on it yet but i'm welcome to prompts and what not if you want.  
> you can find at captainafresh.tumblr.com


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